Here I am going to discuss something which is little awkward. I will start with quoting an interesting wire copy which I chanced upon a few months ago. Based on a survey among various groups, a new Australian research says working singles are the unhappiest lot.
The singles group, which had an average age of 33, includes singles who worked full time, earned more than an average income and had fair job satisfaction.
Yet despite all of the above, despite good connections with family and friends, they were unhappy about their single status and had "low life satisfaction".
The only unhappier Australians were those on the margins, who include single parents, the unemployed and those with disabilities.
Psychologist Evelyn Field says singles working long hours were dissatisfied about having no partner.
"They would be anxious, stressed and depressed at times," The Daily Telegraph quoted her, as saying.
Me, at 28, a media professional in a metro, with few friends in town and staying alone, passing through the loneliest phase in life, have fully endorsed this research finding.
This feeling started haunting me for sometime, ever since a weird sense of increasingly being distanced and left alone had crept in. It may have something to do with the far greater physical distance from home than it ever used to be, the relatively less number of friends in the close proximity in this distant city and certain other things in life that happened in between.
Last August, it turned 10 years since I am living away from home. The distance gets farther as the years go by. A mix of misfortune, lack of opportunity, academic-familial-professional preoccupations and constraints impacted my search for the soulmate. (And I don’t know if there are any other attributable reasons)
It doesn’t mean that I have completely been denied the feminine presence in the youthful days. I have enjoyed fair amount of love, liking, care and considerations from the opposite sex. Perhaps, on that front, I might be luckier than some others. And there were brief illusions of having almost achieved that priced thing – love.
Most of the people we interact are hypocritical when it comes to love – putting up a rather detached attitude towards such ‘silly things’ and acting brave. Pretty understandable, nobody wants to look vulnerable. It was not the case with me.
Just now, I made a futile search in the internet to find that exact quote from Diary of Anne Frank. It was something like this - Despite all love and care by your family and friends, you won't find perfect happiness until you find somebody who exclusively belongs to you. I have always acknowledged and realised this emotional need of possessing and belonging to someone.
However, as somebody jokingly said, “your success rate is quite low”. After each illusory phase, let-downs and ‘voluntary retirements’ what always helped me move on is the intuitive optimism that some day I will meet up with the one who was chosen for me before the earth was born. The other day I was thinking, this search had actually started when I was in fifth or sixth standard. 17-18 years, the search is still on!
At this point of time I honestly don’t know what happened to my optimism. All I know is that it has just not happened yet.
The other day I happened to read in orkut a beautiful description about an ideal partner. It could be a borrowed thought for me. But it is something I too feel, may be many others too.
My perfect partner is the person who is able to provide
the three most important elements I value in a relationship- trust, love and respect. She is someone who can appreciate my company all the time, bring a smile to my heart, someone I can walk with or be with and not say a word and know that was the best conversation I ever had!.